Written a while ago, so some are familiar with the story.
It is a simple, elemental question, but one, which takes a
life to answer...so, I'll sum up =)
I was born without knowledge or beliefs, as were we all ,-)
My parents and family, as I grew, taught me their beliefs, which were to help me become a Roman Catholic. They also taught me (and my sibs) that I must be an individual, must have my own life, within a good set of values...values not fully compatible with being a good son of "Holy Mother Church."
My parents also taught me to read before I entered grade school and encouraged me to read as widely as my understanding would allow. Favorite topics as I grew were science-fiction & fantasy novels, history, mythology and heroic stories...my pursuits were solitary and remained so with the occasional, personal conversation with a mentor along the way.
The 1st sign of trouble between my Cradle Religion and me was during Confirmation class the fall after I turned 11 (1968). It is a tradition that one is confirmed within the Church by taking a saint's name as an additional middle name...a Faith Name, as many in Pagan paths do... It was my bedrock desire to be confirmed as Stewart, my dad's name. There is no Saint Stewart within Church Canon. After a lot of sound and fury, mostly the priest trying to overawe me, I was confirmed as Stewart.
Listening, reading, watching, questioning, thinking...fast forward to March 16, 1975, suffice to say, events led me to "give up the Church for Lent." Later that same year, Jesus and I parted ways, also.
The journey begins in earnest; more listening, reading, watching, questioning, thinking...summer of 1981.
I had been reading up on the traditions of the Mohawk People, to try and follow in the footsteps of my 2nd great grandmother Philomene Allard (nee Gaudet). She was the daughter of Roman Catholics; whose paternal grandmother Julia was a Mohawk, adopted as an infant by French-Canadians named Dubois. However, the tribal heritage is what caught my imagination.
I saw in the Native Traditions things that Catholicism lacked: love for one's heritage rather than the Church, a sense of belonging to a People, a focus on family, friends and local community, being more in tune with the Nature of the World...
A distant cousin of my dad's from the Allard side was like another uncle to me. John was a Mohawk who followed the Traditional Ways (having returned to them out of his childhood Catholicism). He was not a frequent visitor, but we hit it off, both being interested in nature and wondering.
So I gravitated towards him as a mentor and teacher.
John was such an intense and complete listener..."Steven," after having given me a good afternoon's worth of conversation, "I must think on this, we'll speak again tomorrow."
The next day, we went for a walk in the woods near his home, he gestured for quiet when I tried to start another conversation. After about an hour we came to a couple of stools and a little table at the back of his yard. We sat and he asked me to let him have his say without interruption.
"Steven, I know you are seeking a Way of Life, but you will not find it in the customs of Julia's People, my People. You were not born in the 'Shadow of the Longhouse,' and no matter how hard you study, no matter how hard you want...you will never be a Mohawk, not unless you marry into the Tribe. I do not believe that is what you seek. Your Way lies towards the morning sun. Look to your Grandmothers in Europe."
He then presented me with a copy of the Poetic Edda (as translated by Henry Adams Bellows, 1936 edition) and the Kalevala (the prose translation by Mogoun from 1963).
"Steven, I see in you ice and mountains, sunshine and forests; your Grandmothers across the sea, and their People, had Ways of their own, which contain what you seek."
After another full afternoon of conversation, I took his advice to heart and started looking into European traditions...John passed away soon thereafter, but he smiles on where I've gone, I believe.
I took a turn in my travels; more listening, reading, watching, questioning, thinking - investigating different beliefs and philosophies, and practices...summer of 1988, late in the evening of July 9th until very early in the morning of July 10th, to be exact.
I still wear the Thor's Hammer I bought the afternoon of July 9, on a whim that it was appropriate for me to have.
I was attending an SCA event near Rapid City, SD. Part of my reasons for attending was that a Household to which I belonged was going to have a ceremony of re-dedication and re-purposing. Part of this was a sweat lodge to take place from 15 minutes before midnight until 15 minutes after.
During this, I had what I believe is a visit to Uller in a small hunting shelter in the Yewdales.
I had no idea who it was that I saw, but I felt it had something to do with the Hammer pendant I had purchased.
My studies took a hard turn North and I reread the books John had given me years before.
Our household met again the weekend of November 11, 1988, and we heads of the house decided to "Sweat," again.
I once again was in the lodge of Uller, this time I had a good idea of who he was and I got a great sense of acceptance when I thought his name.
In August 1991, at the SCA's Pennsic XX, I found a couple of references in a couple of Pagan magazines I bought to some Path known as Asatru, but I was not really ready to understand.
Two years later I was at Pennsic XXII and happened upon a "Viking" arms merchant. He had pamphlets and books from the Asatru Free Assembly, Asatru Alliance and Winland Rice of Théodish Belief...I leafed through a couple, bought them...by the end of the event I had over 20 pieces of literature, and a confirmation of a name for what it was I believed and how my instincts led me to offer Drink and Words...
After awhile, I wrote to the addresses in these works, Steve McNallen of the AFA, Valgard Murray of the AA and Garman Lord of the Théods all wrote back. I was in contact with organized Asatru, and after many years, I am still a friend and supporter of Steve and the AFA. Valgard and I are on friendly terms, but the AA is an alliance of Kindreds only. I understand that Garman has withdrawn from organized heathenry and is basically keeping to his own household.
A long way of saying, the way I have lived and learned led me to Asatru.
...and you?
I was born without knowledge or beliefs, as were we all ,-)
My parents and family, as I grew, taught me their beliefs, which were to help me become a Roman Catholic. They also taught me (and my sibs) that I must be an individual, must have my own life, within a good set of values...values not fully compatible with being a good son of "Holy Mother Church."
My parents also taught me to read before I entered grade school and encouraged me to read as widely as my understanding would allow. Favorite topics as I grew were science-fiction & fantasy novels, history, mythology and heroic stories...my pursuits were solitary and remained so with the occasional, personal conversation with a mentor along the way.
The 1st sign of trouble between my Cradle Religion and me was during Confirmation class the fall after I turned 11 (1968). It is a tradition that one is confirmed within the Church by taking a saint's name as an additional middle name...a Faith Name, as many in Pagan paths do... It was my bedrock desire to be confirmed as Stewart, my dad's name. There is no Saint Stewart within Church Canon. After a lot of sound and fury, mostly the priest trying to overawe me, I was confirmed as Stewart.
Listening, reading, watching, questioning, thinking...fast forward to March 16, 1975, suffice to say, events led me to "give up the Church for Lent." Later that same year, Jesus and I parted ways, also.
The journey begins in earnest; more listening, reading, watching, questioning, thinking...summer of 1981.
I had been reading up on the traditions of the Mohawk People, to try and follow in the footsteps of my 2nd great grandmother Philomene Allard (nee Gaudet). She was the daughter of Roman Catholics; whose paternal grandmother Julia was a Mohawk, adopted as an infant by French-Canadians named Dubois. However, the tribal heritage is what caught my imagination.
I saw in the Native Traditions things that Catholicism lacked: love for one's heritage rather than the Church, a sense of belonging to a People, a focus on family, friends and local community, being more in tune with the Nature of the World...
A distant cousin of my dad's from the Allard side was like another uncle to me. John was a Mohawk who followed the Traditional Ways (having returned to them out of his childhood Catholicism). He was not a frequent visitor, but we hit it off, both being interested in nature and wondering.
So I gravitated towards him as a mentor and teacher.
John was such an intense and complete listener..."Steven," after having given me a good afternoon's worth of conversation, "I must think on this, we'll speak again tomorrow."
The next day, we went for a walk in the woods near his home, he gestured for quiet when I tried to start another conversation. After about an hour we came to a couple of stools and a little table at the back of his yard. We sat and he asked me to let him have his say without interruption.
"Steven, I know you are seeking a Way of Life, but you will not find it in the customs of Julia's People, my People. You were not born in the 'Shadow of the Longhouse,' and no matter how hard you study, no matter how hard you want...you will never be a Mohawk, not unless you marry into the Tribe. I do not believe that is what you seek. Your Way lies towards the morning sun. Look to your Grandmothers in Europe."
He then presented me with a copy of the Poetic Edda (as translated by Henry Adams Bellows, 1936 edition) and the Kalevala (the prose translation by Mogoun from 1963).
"Steven, I see in you ice and mountains, sunshine and forests; your Grandmothers across the sea, and their People, had Ways of their own, which contain what you seek."
After another full afternoon of conversation, I took his advice to heart and started looking into European traditions...John passed away soon thereafter, but he smiles on where I've gone, I believe.
I took a turn in my travels; more listening, reading, watching, questioning, thinking - investigating different beliefs and philosophies, and practices...summer of 1988, late in the evening of July 9th until very early in the morning of July 10th, to be exact.
I still wear the Thor's Hammer I bought the afternoon of July 9, on a whim that it was appropriate for me to have.
I was attending an SCA event near Rapid City, SD. Part of my reasons for attending was that a Household to which I belonged was going to have a ceremony of re-dedication and re-purposing. Part of this was a sweat lodge to take place from 15 minutes before midnight until 15 minutes after.
During this, I had what I believe is a visit to Uller in a small hunting shelter in the Yewdales.
I had no idea who it was that I saw, but I felt it had something to do with the Hammer pendant I had purchased.
My studies took a hard turn North and I reread the books John had given me years before.
Our household met again the weekend of November 11, 1988, and we heads of the house decided to "Sweat," again.
I once again was in the lodge of Uller, this time I had a good idea of who he was and I got a great sense of acceptance when I thought his name.
In August 1991, at the SCA's Pennsic XX, I found a couple of references in a couple of Pagan magazines I bought to some Path known as Asatru, but I was not really ready to understand.
Two years later I was at Pennsic XXII and happened upon a "Viking" arms merchant. He had pamphlets and books from the Asatru Free Assembly, Asatru Alliance and Winland Rice of Théodish Belief...I leafed through a couple, bought them...by the end of the event I had over 20 pieces of literature, and a confirmation of a name for what it was I believed and how my instincts led me to offer Drink and Words...
After awhile, I wrote to the addresses in these works, Steve McNallen of the AFA, Valgard Murray of the AA and Garman Lord of the Théods all wrote back. I was in contact with organized Asatru, and after many years, I am still a friend and supporter of Steve and the AFA. Valgard and I are on friendly terms, but the AA is an alliance of Kindreds only. I understand that Garman has withdrawn from organized heathenry and is basically keeping to his own household.
A long way of saying, the way I have lived and learned led me to Asatru.
...and you?
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